Why Community Beats Isolation During Hard Seasons

Starting over sounds bold until the storm hits at night and the room feels too quiet. We dig into a simple truth that keeps showing up in real life: resilience grows in community. From the physical toll of loneliness to the emotional relief of being fully seen, we map the concrete ways connection protects your health, clarifies your thinking, and keeps your heart steady when circumstances don’t. We also name the moments when solitude is not only okay but wise—time set apart to reflect, to pray, and to focus without the noise.

Across the conversation, we trace a pattern we’ve watched in our own lives and in people we admire: strong relationships become a safety net and a launchpad. You’ll hear how empathy calms shame, how accountability gently nudges you back toward your values, and how borrowing someone else’s perspective can open a path you couldn’t see alone. We talk about rebuilding the kind of church-centered community that lingers after the benediction, that checks in midweek, and that shows up with both prayer and practical help. And yes, we get specific: how to take inventory of your needs, how to deepen bonds you already have, and what to do if the circle you need doesn’t exist yet.

If isolation has been whispering that you’re the only one, let this be a counter-story. There’s a way to balance purposeful solitude with faithful connection so you can heal, decide wisely, and keep moving. Press play, take one step toward someone you trust, and if this helped, share it with a friend who needs a handhold today. Subscribe for new episodes every other Thursday, and leave a review to help more people find a community that holds.

Chapters

• 0:00 New Schedule & Set Up
• 1:22 From Starting Over To Support
• 3:38 Community As A God-Given Gift
• 5:20 What We’ve Lost In Modern Life
• 6:27 Why Community During Hard Times
• 7:38 Mental And Physical Health
• 8:50 Emotional Support That Holds You
• 10:26 Better Choices With Wise Counsel
• 11:40 Gaining Broader Perspective
• 13:28 Accountability That Nudges You Forward
• 14:24 Risks Of Going It Alone
• 16:17 Isolation, Shame, And The Church
• 18:16 Seeing Beyond Your Struggle
• 18:58 When Solitude Helps
• 21:01 Be Productive In The Storm
• 22:27 Deliberate Alone Time Like Jesus
• 24:05 Finding Your Balance
• 26:03 Deepen Bonds In Your Church
• 28:02 Join Or Build A Community
• 30:01 Therapy And Reaching Out
• 31:35 A Prayer Answered By Community
• 32:50 Closing & Two-Week Checkback

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:24

Hey, what's up, guys? Welcome to a new episode of Demo with Mo. I am your host, Monique Simmons. And today we are going to be discussing going through hard times alone versus with community. So there are a few things I wanted to share before jumping in today's episode. Going forward, we are going to be releasing new episodes twice a month. So instead of every Thursday weekly, it will be every other Thursday. So you'll get two new episodes twice a month. I want to keep you guys up to date and aware of everything that's going on with the podcast. And that's just something that we will be doing going forward. If we ever go back to once a week, every Thursday, I will update you guys with that information. So last week we discussed tearing everything down and starting over from scratch. And this kind of pivoted me into today's episode, going through hard times alone versus weak community. Because in last week's episode, we talked about how sometimes we're going through things and we need to tear down. We literally need to start over from scratch and stop doing the same thing, repeating the same cycles, replaying the same pattern over and over and over again. And depending on what it is, we have no choice. Sometimes it's illness, sometimes it's a divorce, sometimes you have traumatic things happening in your life where you have no choice but to start over. But sometimes there are things in your life where you want to start over. It's going to be the best decision for you or you and your family that you need to start over. In that case, it could be easier said than done for me to just say, tear everything down and start over. And I thought about that as I was preparing for today's episode. What has been beneficial for me in my life? What have I noticed about the people that I do life with, the people that are connected to me, the people who I listen to, the people whom I follow, the people that I look up to in my life? What has been that common thread where I see them be able to persevere? Persevere through the hard things in their life, persevere through suffering, for them to be able to keep going, for them to be able to start over when they had to, when they have had to tear everything down, for them not to give up when hard times come up in their life. What has been that common theme for all of those people? For even me myself, what has been that common thing? And I got to thinking about it. It has been community. And I know some of you may have, as I've even asked those questions even now, some of you who are listening to this may have may be saying, Mo does is God. God has been that common thing. Yes, God, but God is not here in the flesh. God, in his word, has given us this beautiful thing called community. He has given us this beautiful thing called the local body, a community of believers. We have a village, we have people here in the flesh, other Christian believers who are supposed to be his hands and feet here on earth, who are supposed to live out those things that he has said in his word, because he is not physically here with us anymore. People who are supposed to be doing the things that he said in his word. So that as I was thinking about this, that has been that common thing, community. Community is supposed to be able to uphold us where one doesn't fall for the other, or one rejoices with the other, where iron sharpens, iron community, and I think where we are in society, if you look around, if you take a moment to take inventory as a whole, and I'm not talking about just you personally, and I'm not talking about just the people you necessarily do life with, but I'm talking about us as a whole in society. We have really gotten away from community. We have really gotten away from doing life together. We have really gotten away from sitting at the table together and really knowing one another and doing life with one another and really seeing one another, like seeing each other for real, not just one of those comments, how you doing, throwing out that and really not really caring to know how we are really doing. But we've really gotten away from that. You know, we may keep up with each other on social media, we may throw a like here and there and or a comment on a post, but to really do life with one another and be in community, the way the Bible talks about being in community with one another, we've gotten away from that. So today we're gonna talk about that the benefits of being in community when we're facing hard times. And if you look around, we're facing a lot of hard times. And I know if you look at your life personally, you too may be even facing hard times. We're gonna talk about today the benefits of facing hard times in community versus when you try to face hard times alone by yourself. Going through hard times with community is generally more beneficial than facing them alone. If social support provides emotional relief, encouragement, and a safety net against loneliness. While some solitude can offer stress reduction, self-awareness, and focus, prolonged social isolation is harmful. Whereas a strong community fosters resilience, empathy, and better decision making. So now we're going to discuss the benefits of community. Mental and physical health. That's one of the benefits of community. Connection combats the loneliness that increases stress hormones, blood pressure, and susceptibility to illness. Another benefit of community: emotional support. Community offers empathy and a space for emotional relief that can be vital during hardship. I think this is a really great one. When you're able to get that emotional support that you really need during hard times, you're able to find that when you're in community. You can't get that emotional support by yourself. You won't find that when you're facing hard times alone. You can receive empathy. Someone who has experienced what you've experienced. They have walked through what you're currently walking through. So they can empathize with you. They can say, I understand. I've experienced this. I understand how you feel. And you have this space to release emotionally. You can cry if you need to cry. You can get that support that you need. Even if you just need to vent and share how you feel, you're able to find that in community. And this is vital when you're going through hard times. Because what can happen when you're doing this alone, you can feel like you're the only one. No one understands. Woe is me. I'm the only one that's experiencing this. Nobody else. Everybody else is good. I'm the only one. Next, improved decision making. I thought this was a really good one. Support from a community can help individuals avoid harmful coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms and make better choices. When you are part of a community, you're able to work out your thoughts and make better decisions. When you're alone, you have nobody else to work out those thoughts with. So you're more apt to make unwise decisions and go back to those coping mechanisms that are not beneficial, that are not healthy. You're more apt to fall back into stuff that's not good for you. But when you're part of a community, they're able to say, nah, that probably won't be beneficial to you. No, you probably shouldn't do that. Man, I know exactly how you feel. I used to do that same thing, but it's gonna lead you down the wrong road. That's what you're able to find in community. Next, broader perspective. Community can provide encouragement and new ways of thinking, broadening ones horizons, and fostering a sense of belonging. Oh man. Oh man, this one is so beautiful. A broader perspective is such a great thing to have. Because sometimes all you know is all you know, and all you see is all you see. But when you're a part of a community, it's so many other perspectives, and it's it's so much broader because think about it. If you only know the background that you came from, that's all you know. But when you're a part of communities, there's so many other ways of thinking, there's so many different backgrounds, there's so many other perspectives, ways of thinking that you hadn't even thought of, that you haven't even considered, that you didn't even realize that's in a community. And you're like, oh man, I didn't even think of it that way. I didn't even consider that. I couldn't even imagine that. And you're able to work that thing out together. And especially be, and when I'm and I'm talking about community, I'm talking about a body of believers, and we're supposed to operate from the word of God. And sometimes, especially when we're going through hard times, we often will think of it and lean to our own understanding. So sometimes we won't even get in the word of God, or we won't even consider the word of God because we're so stuck in what we're going through and our suffering and our hardship. But when you're in a part of a community, people will bring out stuff that you can't see because you're going through such hard times that you can't even stand them. You can't even pull yourself out of that. So people are able to help you with perspectives that you can't even imagine. They can remind you, they can bring back to you what you can't think of. Well, God's word says this. Remember, God says this, remember, God did this, and you like, man, I didn't even think of that. I forgot that. I needed that perspective, I needed that reminder, and that's what community does. But when you're trying to do it alone, when you're trying to figure this thing out by yourself, all you have is yourself. Next, accountability. A supportive group can provide a structure for accountability, helping individuals stay on track with their goals. All men, when you're a part of community and you you verbally said, This is what I want to do, this is what I'm aiming for, this is what I'm striving for. Whatever that thing is, community, a supportive group. They're gonna help you stay on track with that. They're gonna check in with you. Well, this is what you said you want to do. How are you doing? How's it going? Well, you said you want to do this. How can I support you? How can I show up for you? How can I help you? How can I assist you? That's what community does for you. It's not to shame you, it's not to call you out, but it's to encourage you, it's to help you, it's to push you towards that goal, it's to push you towards what you were aiming for. Now we're going to talk about the risk of going at it alone. To the risk of facing hardships alone by yourself. Increased stress and poor health. Without community, individuals are more prone to higher stress levels, heart disease, and other health problems associated with loneliness. So it's not just bad for as you're just going to be suffering and going through by yourself, and you don't have people to support you and encourage you and hold you accountable, but it also affects your health, your well-being. Next, negative thought cycles. Isolation can lead to discontent, shame, and a perpetuation of negative thoughts, which can spiral into depression. And the enemy will love nothing more than to keep you here, to get you by yourself and to shame you and get those negative thoughts to keep playing in your head over and over and over again. To keep you by yourself. He will love nothing more because he wants to keep you separated from community. He wants to keep you separated from the local body. That's why we are in a society now where this running theme has become, and I don't know if you notice it, this running theme has become church is important isn't important. You don't need to be in church every Sunday. And everybody has their various reasons. And don't let me, I don't want to dismiss or invalidate anyone's feelings by some of the reasons that I've heard by saying that people have not been hurt by some of the things that have happened in church, because I know that some of these things are true and people have been hurt. But I also know the word of God says forsake not the fellowship, forsake not the assembling of yourself together. And I know God says this because it's for the benefit of us. He wants us there because we need community. The enemy wants to keep us separated from one another. He wants to keep us from the body. He wants to keep us apart from one another because he knows the benefit of what community does for us as believers when we come together, when we worship together, when we do this thing that God has called us to do. Next, lack of perspective. Being alone can make it harder to see beyond your own immediate struggles, hindering problem solving and personal growth. And this is what I was telling you guys about when we talked about the benefits of community when we discussed the broader perspective. This is it, the lack of perspective. Because if I get you out of community and you are facing hardships alone by yourself, you most times, nine times out of ten, you can't see past your hardships. You can't see past your struggles. All you will see is what you see. All you will see is what you're going through. All you will see is your suffering. All you will see is your hardships. But when you are able to lock into your community, when you're able to connect with the body, they are able to help you see what you can't see right now. Next, we're going to discuss when alone time is beneficial. Because sometimes you do need to be alone. Don't hear me say there is never a time when we shouldn't be alone. Because there is a time when alone time is beneficial. Self-awareness. Spending time alone can provide opportunities for self-reflection, helping you understand your own needs, values, and emotions better. Next, creativity and focus. Solitude can enhance focus, productivity, and creativity, allowing you to engage with challenging for new pursuits. I thought this one was a really good one because sometimes if God is telling you you need a break, you need to pull away, you need to take some time off to take some things off your plate, and you just need to pull away and take a break. Like this is a really good one if you just need to focus. Like you just need to take some time to like getting your creative bag, you need to focus, you need to find like a hobby or whatever that thing looks like for you. Like, you know, I I talk about self-care a lot, but this could be more like your self-care, like whatever that is for you, but like this is your time to like kind of focus and find like that thing that is good for you to take some time away from the things of life that is you're not focusing so much on the hardship, on the suffering. Because again, sometimes when we're going through hard times, that's all we're focusing on. We're so caught up in that thing. But if you pull away from that and just take some time away, what is it that I could be doing with this time? What is it that I could really be focusing on and being creative with that time? And that's something I could do by myself. I don't have to get in community to do that. But what is it that I can be doing to spend some alone time with myself? And in that time, I could really be talking about talking to God about what's going on in my life right now. These things that I'm walking through right now, God, you know these things going on in my life. I'm having a really difficult time right now. I'm really struggling in this, but Lord, I don't want to focus on this. I want to focus on my relationship with you, getting to know you better. And I know I'm not going to be in this forever. I know this won't last always, but help me not to stay focused on this. Help me to keep my eyes on you and help me to continue to do those things you have called me to, help me to walk in obedience in the midst of these hard times right now, even though it's hard, even though I'm struggling in this, like in the midst of whatever it is that you're focusing on and being creative and being productive. Because sometimes I know you want to just get in your bed and pull the covers over your head and wait for it to pass, wait for the storm to pass, but don't do that. Be productive in the midst of the storm. What is it that you could be working on? Who could you be helping? What could you be doing that's productive, that's beneficial to you, other than focusing on the storm? Do that. Next, stress reduction. Deliberate alone time can help reduce stress, especially from navigating complex social interactions. I get this one. I really get this one. And I I love the word where it says deliberate alone time. That means you're being intentional about this. So if you're one of those people who you may be people pleasing, where you're going out because other people have invited you out, even though you don't want to, or you know you don't need to, you're really in a season where you need to pull away. Because that's one of the beautiful things about Jesus. If you're reading your Bible, and when Jesus was in ministry and he started his ministry, he would uh when the crowds got big, when all of the people would start surrounding him, none of that mattered. If he needed to pull away, Jesus would pull away in a minute. He would go off and he would pray. He would talk to the father whenever he needed to. He would pull away. It didn't matter about what was going on, it didn't matter about all the people wanting to be around him, needing something from him. He was always about his father's business. He always about, he was always about staying connected to the source. He was always about staying in right relationship with his father. He would always pull away. When he was with the disciples, if he needed to, he would pull away. He always pulled away in solitude to talk to God, to be in commune with God, to pray to God. Even so much so the disciples would say, his disciples said, teach us how to pray. And it wasn't like they didn't necessarily know how to pray, you know, just a prayer, but they wanted the type of prayer that Jesus was praying. You know? So sometimes we need to be deliberate, we need to be intentional about our alone time to reduce that stress. If we have a lot going on, we have so much on our plate, we're always doing other things. We're so busy, we're busybody. We have so much going on, but maybe not the right things going on. Sometimes we need to be deliberate and intentional about our alone time. So again, this is when alone time is beneficial. Okay, next, this is lastly, finding a balance. So again, we talked about we talked about the benefits of being in a community during hardship, and we've talked about the times that is beneficial for a long time. Now we're gonna talk about finding a balance, a healthy balance. One, identify your need, reflect on what you feel is missing in your current connections to better understand your need for connection or solitude. So look at your circumstances. Take inventory because my life and my circumstances currently may not look like your life and your circumstances. So take inventory of your life on what you feel is missing in your current connection to better understand what you need for connection or solitude. Like for me, all of my closest friends currently live out of state. But I have a heavy community, and I say community meaning the body of believers, my local community, the local, my local church that I'm a part of, I'm heavily involved there. I'm at my church at least three times a week for various various reasons because I'm a part of different different ministries. So I'm there three three times a week consistently. So I have heavy connections there. You may be a part of a community body, but you may go twice a month. You know, your circumstances may look completely different from mine. So you may need to look at the inventory of your connections and you may want to work on your connections. You may want to get more involved with your church body because you may feel solitude right now. You may be going through because I'm going through hardships. You may be going through hardships, but I'm locked in with my community. I don't feel lonely, I don't feel solitude because I've I've been intentional about my community. So you may be in a place where you want to, because this is what this is saying. Identify your need. So you, if you're in the same predicament that I'm in, you may not have a need for that connection because you may feel you already have that connection. You have that community, that community with your local body, your local church. But maybe you feel like you need connection far as friendship. Like I said, all of my closest friends live out of state. So that's something that I have been working on for as my community with my friendships here. I have been working on rebuilding new friendships here. So that's something that I've been working on. So maybe what I'm getting to, identify your need. If you feel like you are lacking in the local body, the local community, the local church, maybe you don't have, maybe you're not a part of a local church. Identify that as your need. Maybe you are a part of a local church, but you're not involved. Begin to get involved, whether that's going more regularly, joining a ministry, getting involved in Sunday school and Bible study. That's how you get more connected. Next, strengthen existing relationships. Focus on building deeper, more meaningful connections within your existing community. Okay, so like I said, this follows up on what I just said. Like if you're already a part of a community, work on building deeper, more meaningful connections. So maybe those connections aren't as close as you want them to be. Begin working on those relationships. How can these get more deeper and more meaningful? Let's say you're part of that local church, but you only go again, maybe twice a month, once a month, or even if you go every Sunday, but that's it. You only go every Sunday to worship service. Start going to Sunday school and Bible study. Begin to get to know the people that you go to church with. Don't rush out after. The worship service is over. Once they do the benediction, don't benediction, don't run out. Get to know the people that you are in community with because this is a benefit to you. This is a this is beneficial to us. We are doing life together. We are supposed to be in relationship with one another. Get to know the people you are in community with. Go deeper. I have a young lady that we get together once a month, whom I love. She reached out to me. We've been going over a year now. But she reached out to me basically for a mentor relationship, mentor-mentee relationship. But it's more than that now. But discipleship, it's basically discipleship. But we get together once a month and we have dinner together. We're in church together and we get together once a month. We do something different every month. Whatever that is, we just decide on what it is. We may do dinner, we may do some type of um activity, something, whatever it is we decide on. Whatever it is. But we've been doing it well over a year now. But this is how you build deeper connections. Not only do we go to church together, not only do we do Bible study together, Sunday school together, but we have once a month where we get together, set aside intentional time where we get together to build a relationship with one another. That's deeper, more meaningful connections. These are the people that you do life with. These are the people that you are in to encourage, to support, to hold accountable. These are the people that's going to be with you through your hard times, and you are to be there with them through theirs. This is what God has called us to. This is what the church is supposed to look like. This is community. But so many of us have gotten away from this. And we wonder why we feel lonely, why we feel isolated, because we don't do it God's way anymore. We've gotten away from that. Next, join or create communities. Actively seek out communities, whether online or in person, to find a sense of belonging and support. Join one. But if there's not one specific, specific for what you're looking for to join, create it. The Bible talks about if you want a friend, show yourself friendly. Sometimes if you can't find what you're looking for, you have to make it. But it is for people who are dating in relationship, engaged or married. So everybody who wants to be in a relationship, anyone who is looking to one day be married, who expired to be married. And it was a spin-off from the podcast. But I created that group because I have a heart for relationships, I have a heart for couples. And God did that in me out of my husband and I getting in a relationship, being together since high school, but getting married at such a young age. And there was I didn't have it. I didn't have anything. When we got married, there were not a lot of resources back then of how to do this thing called marriage. We were figuring it out. And I had a passion, like God, you helped me figure this thing out, but I also want to help other couples figure it out as well. I don't want to learn all this stuff that I've learned that you've shown me, that you've given me, that you've blessed me with along my journey, and not help other people. Like, how dare I? Like, how dare I experience your grace and your blessings along my marriage, along my journey, along parenting my kids, of how you turn my whole life around and not help other people do the same. How crazy would that be? Lastly, seek professional support. If you are struggling with persistent loneliness or feelings of isolation, seek help through therapy. Seeking help through therapy can be beneficial. And this one was last because I do understand there may be some things that you may need additional help with. If you're listening to this and you're really struggling with feelings of isolation or loneliness, you may need additional help. Because I'm an advocate for therapy. I myself, if you've been rocking and rolling with me for a while now, you know that I am in therapy. So there may there may be some additional help that you need. You may really need to talk to a professional. And I encourage you to do that. But if not, reach out. Like if you've been feeling lonely, feeling isolated, reach out to your community. And if you feel like you don't have a community, you feel like you don't, you're not a part of a local church, you don't feel like you have a lot of people. If you have one person in your life, just one person in your life that you trust, that you know that loves you, that you know supports you, that you know will be there for you, reach out. Let them know you're going through a hard time right now and you're struggling, and you need them. Don't be afraid to ask for help. We are not on an hour. We all need somebody. We all need somebody. So I hope today's episode has encouraged you. And if you know someone who needs this episode, please share this with them. Share this with them. Just a month ago, I needed to be reminded of this very episode myself. And I reached out to my community, to my local church community, and said that I needed help. And I needed prayer. And you know what they did for me? They prayed for me. And you know what God did? Answer that prayer. Because of prayers of my community. So reach out to your community. Don't try to face your suffering, your hardship, what you're going through by yourself. You don't. Remember, I love you, but God loves you so much more. I'll see you guys in two weeks. Bye.